Things You'll Never Hear Them Say On CSI

This page is for those things you've always wanted them to say or do on CSI but we know they will never happen.

I'll start one off.

Just write about what you have always wanted to hear and then put your name in the second column.

Greg: I think I’m going to go back in the lab now!
Catherine: Great Idea, Ecklie's even giving everyone a raise!
(Grissom, Sara, Ecklie, Sophia, and Warrick walk in)
Ecklie: Hey, how are my favorite CSI's, enjoying your raise?
Sophia: Grissom, will you marry me?
Sara: Fat chance b****! (slaps Sophia)
(Sara and Sophia get into a cat fight)
Catherine: Warrick, will you marry me?
Warrick: Hell Yeah!! Just give me an hour to go home, divorce, and pack.
Grissom: Anyone want to see my new Hawaiian Shirt/Cowboy Hat Ensemble?
Sara(still beating up Sophia): Seen it already!!
Grissom:...With my Scotch skirt and no underwear?
Sara: (starts to fantasise, meanwhile Sophia escapes from the beating)
Grissom: Sara? You haven't said anything for three minutes.
Sara: Wh..what? Ah.. ah... Grissom, looking good!!!


Priest : I now Pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.
Grissom and Sara Kiss

1.Grissom:"Sara, I don't love you I love Catherine..."
2. Grissom:"Sara, I'm sorry but I just realized that I am gay."
3.Catherine:"Sara you are my best friend..."
4.Greg:"I am getting rid of all of my Marylin Manson CDs."
Grissom:What's the COD doc ?
DocRobbins:Horatio one-liner

Ecklie(to Grissom): I feel so bad for all that I've done. I just wanted to let you know that I've been a huge a$$.

Grissom(to Sara in front of the whole team): So, is the whole marriage thing still happening, or what?

Hodges(to whole team): Grissom! You dog! I never knew you and Sara, and in the lab, too! Way to live on the edge my man!


Grisom and Sara ( to whole team): Hey guy's guess what!

Team turns around : what!

Grissom holds up Sara's hand: We're married

Sara: and we're gonna have a baby!

Grissom: Hey Catherine
Catherine: (Turns around) Yes
Grissom: Will you marry me
The Team: (Turn around and look at Catherine)
Catherine: Yes
Grissom: (Gives Catherine a hug)
Catherine: (Kisses him, he kisses back)
The Team: We were wondering when you two would tie the knot FINALLY


Nick:The victim was silenced by duct tape
Grissom:Silence is gold,duct tape is silver


Gil: O Catherine will go out to dinner with me
Catherine: Yes and Gil i love you with all my heart
Gil: I never thought i would here you say that i love you with all my heart im only with Sara because i thought you hated me
Catherine: I will never hate you i love you way to much
Gil: Do you think we have a chance
Catherine: I have know ou for so long i think we do
Gil: Hold on. Hey Sara come here
Sara: Yes
Gil: We are done i never really loved you i have always loved Catherine
Sara: Its OK I was going to dump you for Nick
Gil: Well at least we are all happy
Catherine: Yea now come here sexy man(pulls Gil and kisses him)


Catherine (sitting in break room with Greg): So...are you and Sara dating?
Greg (stops swinging around in chair, pale): What? No! I thought she was with Grissom. Does this mean she's up for grabs?
Catherine: You think I honestly know the answer to that question?
Greg: Well, Grissom and Sara are in your little circle and I'm usually the last to know these things. she single?
Catherine (under her breath): If she is, she won't be for long.
Greg: What was that?
Catherine (getting up): Nothing, Greg. I'll go spy on them and get back to you with the news.
Greg smiles and watches Catherine head down the hall to Grissom's office.
Catherine (in doorway of Grissom's office): Hey...have you seen Sara?
Grissom (nervous, scared): No, why? Who's asking?
Catherine (furrows brow): Jeez, Gil, don't get all tense. It was just a question. You're sure you haven't seen her...because Greg needs her help with something.
Grissom (relieved): Oh, um, in that case...I think I saw her heading over to the locker room.
Catherine grinned fiercely and nodded, turning and heading toward the locker room.
Once at the doorway of the locker room, she smiles at Sara putting her jacket in her locker.
Catherine (still smiling): Hey.
Sara (carelessly turning to face Catherine and weakly smiling): Hey.
Catherine (nervously biting her bottom lip): You and Grissom aren't seeing each other...are you?
Sara (shocked): Hell no! I mean, we had a thing once, but that was before I came here. Why?

Catherine (pleased): Um, Greg was curious and...uh, I admit I've been itching to ask for a while.
Sara (calming down): Oh...why would you care?
Catherine: Every time we've ever had a's just...(timidly looks down at her feet) you've always looked so sexy when you're angry.
Sara (mouth wide open): Ex..cuse me?
Catherine (biting her bottom lip again, almost whispering): I think you're sexy when you're angry.
Sara (raised eyebrows): Well I'll be damned. So...why are you here again?
Catherine (starting to smile and look up into Sara's eyes): I, uh, wanted to know if you were free and, uh, maybe we could...get some coffee or something later?
Sara (beaming): Um, I'd...I'd like that.
Catherine's smile widens and she nods, doing a happy dance in her head before half turning to leave.
Catherine: I'll, uh, see you later.
Sara: Definitely.
A few seconds pass before Catherine can make it out the locker room door when Sara grabs her right wrist and pulls her in for a passionate kiss.

Anyone on CSI: "I Love You" kahvitz
Grissom: "Hey Archie, did you examine the video the casino sent in of the robbery?"

Archie: "I tried, but my computer keeps freezing and wants me to do a Windows Update....."


Catherine: "Did you get the results of the DNA test back yet Greg?"

Greg: "It should be coming in right now on the.........."

Printer beeps

Greg: "GRRRRRR! OUT OF TONER!!!!!!!"


More pages