CSI Quotes - Season 4

CSI Quotes - Season 4 - CSISeason 4 Quotes
Share your favorite lines, conversations and funny quotes from CSI's fourth season!
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401 | Assume Nothing

402 | All For Our Country

[Sara gets out of the SUV.]
Sara: I can't believe Grissom pulled us off that serial murder case.
Catherine: Yeah, well, let me tell you how it ends. They die.
[They both head toward the house.]
Catherine: Whoa, this isn't half bad for college kids.
Sara: Yeah. Why live in a one-room flea bag when you can pool your resources and live like this.
Catherine: Hey, how 'bout it: You, me, Warrick, Nick, Grissom ...
Sara [shakes her head]: Oh, nnn ... Not Grissom.
[They walk into the house.]
[Int. House - day - continuous]
[The first floor ceiling is completely soaked through. It looks as if it's raining on the inside.]
Catherine: What the hell is this?
Officer: Ma'am, you may want to take one of these.
[He hands them an open umbrella.]
Sara: Thank you.
Catherine: Thanks. Where's the body?
Officer: Upstairs.
Sara: Upstairs?
Officer: Yes.
[They get a good look at the first floor and the entire ceiling is leaking.]
Catherine: It's raining man juice?
Sara: Hallelujah?
Officer: You might want to wear those.
[The officer puts two pairs of rubber boots down on the floor in front of their feet.]
Sara: Thank you.
[Cut to: Stairs - continuous]
[Sara folds up the umbrella and shakes it.]
Sara: Well, weather's clearing.
Catherine: Yeah, if only the smell would.
Sara: Yep.
[Catherine looks around and sighs.]
Catherine: It's like a sewer in here.
[They reach the first bedroom doorway and the bedroom is completely flooded. They make their way toward the bathroom.]
[Int. Bathroom - continuous]
[Sara's the first to see it. There's a dead body floating in the tub completely bloated. Sgt. O'Riley stands next to the tub.]
Sara: Oh, my goodness.
[Catherine steps to the doorway and sees the body.]
Catherine: Oh, God.
O'Riley: Soup's on.
Catherine: How long has he been in here?
O'Riley: Roommates last saw him Thursday night. Took off for the weekend. Came home to this.
Sara: Guy goes to take a shower and DFOs. He never got to the cold water, did he?
O'Riley: Roommate said only the hot water faucet was on.
Sara: Must've been a steam bath in here.
O'Riley: Still is.
Catherine: Well, any evidence on the floor's been washed away.
Sara: There, uh ... [clears throat] Could be something in the tub.
Catherine: We got to take that body and get it through that door.
Sara: There's another option.
[Sara looks at the bathroom window.]
[Int. Bar - day]
[Sara and Catherine re-interview Wayne.]
Wayne: You got to be kidding me.
Sara: You threw a punch. Probably a sucker punch.
Wayne: Look, I told you, that guy walked away.
Catherine: But he was already dying. And you're responsible.
Sara: Now who's the punk... b**ch?

Catherine Willows: Where is the body?
Officer: Upstairs.
Sara Sidle: Upstairs?
Catherine Willows: It's raining MAN JUICE?
Sara Sidle: Hallelujah?

403 | Homebodies

404 | Feeling the Heat

405 | Fur and Loathing

Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine: Uh, you think it's natural for a grown human to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Grissom: Well, Freud said that the only unnatural sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it's just a question of opportunity and preference. And evidently, many prefer the feel of fur to the texture of human skin.
Catherine: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.
Catherine: I once dated the Detroit Lion Mascot... Off season. Dutch was his name.
Grissom: The bret of your social experience never sees to amaze me....
Catherine:PAF Con
Grissom: Plushies and furries convention. And we're looking for a bright blue plushie... I think.
Grissom: This is fascinating. A whole tribe of people who prefer to interact as furry animals rather than human beings.
Catherine: I think I'm having Hunter Thompson's flashbacks. This is weirding me out.
Catherine: The eternal question: Why did the man the raccoon suit cross the road?
406 | Jackpot

Grissom: I heard you got some head.
Doc Robbins: Just came in. How'd you know?
Grissom: I arrange house seats for David to see Seline, so he pages me the minute you get anything perishable.
Doc Robbins: Sellout.

407 | Invisible Evidence

Catherine Willows: Hey you.
Warrick Brown: Hey.
Catherine Willows: How... are you holding up?
Warrick Brown: I'm fine.
Catherine Willows: You sure?
Warrick Brown: Yeah.
Catherine Willows: You're in the women's bathroom.
Warrick Brown: [laughs] Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Catherine Willows: [laughs and puts her hands up] Hey. I'm all for it.

408 | After the Show

409 | Grissom Versus the Volcano

Catherine: The three ingrediants to make lava flow. In fifth grade I built one of these as my science fair project it was awesome. First place shoulda been mine. They ended up giving it to some kid with some lame red ant colony. (looks at Grissom) That was you!!!
Grissom: Yeah! Only my ants were black argentinians.
Catherine: Uh-uh
Grissom: I learned at the very early age that the bugs always win.
Catherine: .....Right......

410 | Coming of Rage

Construction Worker: [to Sara] I'll give you a hammer for a screw...

411 | Eleven Angry Jurors

412 | Butterflied

[The doctor/suspect is leaving the room.]
Grissom: Sad, isn't it doc? Guys like us, couple of middle aged men who have allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we are wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then all of a sudden we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up, somebody we could care about. She offers us a new life with her. But we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it, but you did. You risked it all. And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she? But then she took it away and gave it to somebody else, and you were lost. So you took her life, you killed them both and now you have nothing.
Dr. Vincent Lurie
: I'm still here.
: Are you?
[Camera shows Sara on the other side of the glass, she watched the entire thing.]

413 | Suckers

414 | Paper or Plastic

415 | Early Rollout

Catherine: We're mid case. Why do we have to do this now?
Grissom: I have to get this evaluation in, or I'm gonna get written up
Okay. My goals. Mm ... oh, all right, okay. [sits in front of Grissom's desk] For starters, I'd like two consecutive nights off. I would like to
cut my triples down to ten a year instead of the usual twenty, and, uh, I would love to find a reliable baby-sitter, so I could have myself some kind of a
personal life.
Grissom: You don't have a personal life?
Catherine: I ... write this down: I haven't had sex in six -- no -- seven months.
Grissom: [looks at Catherine and sighs] How can I help?
[Catherine raises her eyebrows]
Grissom: I mean you ... advance ..
Brass; Hey look what i found a knife with blood on it
Grissom;Hey look what i found a dead guy

416 | Getting Off
Catherine Willows: [analyzing boxers] Alright, what do those look like to you?
Greg Sanders: Semen stains.
Catherine Willows: Yeah.
Greg Sanders: Which on a man's underwear aren't exactly probative.
Catherine Willows: No.
Greg Sanders: I can't tell you how long they've been there or how often the guy changes his shorts. You know, I knew guys who could go up to four days on one single pair of tighty whities.
Catherine Willows: Thanks for puttin' that picture in my brain.
Sara Sidle: [Grissom gave her a strange look] What?
Gil Grissom: I haven’t seen you in a while, have I?
Sara Sidle: You see me every day.
[smiles and walks away]

417 | XX
Hodges: [after Sara has just completed an explanation on a bug] Since when did you become an insects expert?
Sara Sidle: Entymology textbook. Grissom gave it to me last Christmas. When I can't sleep, I read.
Nick Stokes: [smirking] Funny, I didn't get a Christmas gift from Grissom...
[turns to Hodges]
Nick Stokes: Did you...?
Hodges: [also smirking] No...
[Sara gives them both a weird look]

418 | Bad to the Bone
Grissom: [after getting attacked]
[to Catherine]
Grissom: I'm fine.
Catherine Willows: [touches his wound on his neck] Nasty. Kinda looks like a hicky.
[he pushes her hand away]

419 | Bad Words

420 | Dead Ringer
Lieutenant Mendez: I just made Lieutenant. I've got nothing to prove.
Catherine Willows: A man with nothing to prove. That's a first.
Medic: There is something wrong in the world if all you do is handle test tubes.
Catherine Willows: If you think that's all I handle, you'd be very mistaken

421 | Turn of the Screws
Grissom: I'm looking for one.
Sara: A screw?
Grissom: Yes.

422 | No More Bets
Sara Sidle: A fake ID is for scamming a casino. A baller puts his real name on a roley.
[Grissom turns and gives Sara a look, surprised by what he just heard. She shrugs it off and waves the papers in her hand toward Warrick]
Sara Sidle: What? He rubs off.

423 | Bloodlines

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