CSI Quotes - Season 2

CSI Quotes - Season 2 - CSISeason 2 Quotes
Share your favorite lines, conversations and funny quotes from CSI's second season!
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Greg: Oh, don't touch that! That's my pot!
Grissom: Your pot?
Greg: Yeah, you know, from my own private stash. Blue Hawaiin- $40 a pound. Only grown a couple times a year on the Big Island, hand-picked to perfection.
Grissom: Good. You're using my water so I guess that makes it community coffee.
201 | Burked

Greg: Oh is that alchohol on a bug bite? That's like butter on bums, man. Wives' tale.
Nick: Yeah, this is the guy who told me to put hemmorrhoid cream on my acne.
Greg: Worked, didn't it?
Catherine: Who is this?
Brass: It's Braun's squeeze. She's an ex-stripper too. Perhaps you two met in a proffesional capacity.
Catherine: And, uh, where has she been the past 12 hours?
Brass: Uh, let's see (pulls out notebook)
Quote. "Out". Endquote.
Grissom: Did you try this coffee?
Nick: Mmm-hm.
Grissom: The last cup I had tasted like motor oil. (Greg runs in)

202 | Chaos Theory
Catherine: No one can predict more than a few seconds into the future.
Nick: I predict that I'll still be standing here one minute from now.
Warrick: Where are we going with this?
Grissom: Paige was in her dormroom then ended up in the dumpster. Somewhere between her dorm room and the dumpster is our answer. That's where we're going. Coming Nick?
Warrick: (to Nick)
Nice try, Nostradamus
Warrick: Where have you been?
Grissom: I can't be everywhere, Warrick, and they've banned human cloning.



Grissom: (To catherine) You showered!
Catherine: uhhh, yeah, Gil thanks for noticing, you're very observant!
Grissom: Yeah? Well, i can't tell what i'm observing here! what do you see?
Catherine: a 5 foot 11 work-a-holic!
Grissom: sorry!


(when talking about the trashcan)
Catherine: (Crawling behind the trashcan)This actually happened to me once before! with a set of keys! Eddie and I had this huge blow out and he through my keys in the trash!


203 | Overload
Sara: Hey, you turned my pickle into a lightbulb!
Grissom: Naked kid under a blanket, at his shrink's, late at night, and his mother's there.
Greg: You're case just entered a whole new dimension of wierd.


204 | Bully for You
Nick: She was not?
Warrick: She was! I saw her in action
Nick: No! Catherine?
Catherine: I was what?
Warrick: Oh I was just telling Nick how you were a bully in high school!
Catherine: I was but not the kind you wanna take a gun out and shoot.
Nick: You changed? You still smell! (Nick walks off)
Warrick: Hey Sara? What were you in high school?
Sara: Science Nerd! (Sara walks off)
Greg: You smell like death.
Sara (slightly annoyed): I've heard.
Greg: You know, a real man wouldn't mind...

205 | Scuba Doobie-Doo
Catherine: Hey, I just talked to your partner. Working this case without me, huh?
Nick: Hmm?
Catherine: Greg Sanders?
Nick: Leggo my Greggo. He's a CSI wannabe. Please.
Greg: Hey! Yo Cat!
(Catherine walks in)
Catherine: I am going to forget that you called me that!
Greg: Sorry!


206 | Alter Boys




207 | Caged
(Greg takes out a textbook from a cabinet and Nick gives him a weird look.) Nick: I always thought you kept your porn in there.
Greg: (looking embarassed) I move it around.
Greg: Okay, now, this is a 66-kilodalton globular protein, composed of two disulfide-linked sub-units, A and B. Nick: Very impressive. Greg: And I know what you all think of me -- I'm just another pretty face who got to where I am by sleeping with Catherine.
Grissom: Aaron Pratt is a high-functioning autistic man with superior right brain abilities. Nick: Kind of sounds like you.
Greg: Can I help it if I'm hip?
208 | Slaves of Las Vegas
Catherine: I realized we have a very healthy relationship.
Grissom: We do?
Catherine: Well, when we get into a fight I don't paint Greg Sanders in liquid latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.



209 | And Then There Were None
Grissom: A Harvard professor conducted an experiment. Asked a bunch of students to watch a basketball game - count the number of times the ball was passed. Brass: Yeah? Groundbreaking. Grissom: During the game a person dressed in a gorilla suit ran across the court. Afterward, the professor asked the students if they noticed the gorilla. Fifty percent responded, "what gorilla?" Brass: That's wonderful, Gil. If I see a gorilla, I'll arrest it



210 | Ellie
Warrick: The job is fine. It's the other stuff -- the personalities. Grissom: "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand." Warrick: Is that Einstein? Grissom: Linus. Warrick: Charlie Brown. Figures.
Sara Sidle: [Warrick is acting supervisor] I ran with the case. I do it with Grissom all the time.
Warrick Brown: Well, I'm not Grissom!
Warrick Brown: Acting supervisor? What about Nick? He's got seniority. Or Sara? She'd jump at the chance
Gil Grissom: If it was about seniority, I'd ask Nick. If I needed someone to stay up for three straight days, I'd ask Sara. Instead, I want you.

211 | Organ Grinder
Greg: Hey Catherine? Do you think Sara would ever out with me?
Catherine: Sure! As long as you don't tell her it's a date.
Nick: Murder Central?
Sara: You never heard that phrase?
Nick: Well if i had, i wouldn't be asking would I?


212 | You've Got Male




213 | Identity Crisis




214 | The Finger
[Sara and Cath are in the hallway walking into the breakroom] Sara: Wow, you got to go to the body farm? Catherine: Yeah. Sara: I've always wanted to go there. What was it like? Catherine: Quiet. [Now in the breakroom] Warrick: I hear Grissom goes there all the time. Like even on his nights off. Nick: [Walking over to the fridge]Why does that not surprise me? [He opens the fridge and sighs] Man, something stinks in here again. [He grabs his lunch out of the fridge] Sara: What, bad milk? Cottage-cheese bad? Nick: Worse. It's all over my sandwich. Smell that. [He hands her his sandwich, she reacts to the smell. She then kneels down to look in the fridge and sees a container on the top shelf] Sara: Yeah. He's got one of his experiments in there. Nick: You're kidding me? Catherine: Blood or bugs? Sara: It's not bugs. Warrick:: Oh, that's so not cool. That's a community fridge. Nick:: Man, someone has got to talk to Grissom about this. Grissom: [Walking in]: Talk to me about what? Nick: You leaving your experiments in our refrigerator. Grissom: Well, the lab fridge was full. I put in last night. Nick: Well... Grissom: I'm going to test for horizontal motion on bloodstains. Vis-a-vis surface textures. [Nick looks annoyed. Catherine takes a sip of her coffee and discretely tries to ignore the smell. Grissom is clueless as he takes out the container of blood from the fridge and opens it] Hey, any of you guys got any linoleum at home? [Catherine catches a smell of the open container and this time, she discretely pinches her nose trying to avoid the smell. Sara is quiet] Nick: [sits down still annoyed at being ignored] That blood is rank, man. Grissom: I know. That's why the Red Cross gives it to us 'cause it's past its expiration date. [Grissom puts it back in the fridge and talks to Catherine about the case a little then leaves] Warrick: Way to go, Nick. You really told him. Nick: I told him...he just didn't hear it.



215 | Burden of Proof




216 | Primum Non Nocere




217 | Felonius Monk




218 | Chasing the Bus




219 | Stalker
[Nick walks into the break room after pulling down a departmental newsletter from a bulletin board entitled "CRIME STOPPER" with an article about him] Sara: [laughing] Warrick: Who wrote this? Nick: You're kidding me, right? Warrick: [dramatic voice] Nick Stokes, crime stopper! [Warrick and Sara laugh] You went Hollywood on me man! Sara: And I quote, 'In his off time, he enjoys creating and inventing toys.' That's...facinating...what kind of toys do you make Nick? Nick: I thought I got my hands on all those departmental newsletters. Where'd you get those? Sara and Warrick: [simultaneously ] Greg.
Nick: [pause] Yeah, that figures.



220 | Cats in the Cradle
[Jessica Trent and Jackie Trent whisper in each other's ears.]
Catherine: Hey, are you girls sharing secrets? Can you share it with me?
Jessica Trent: All right.
[Jessica Trent motions for Catherine to lean in close. She whispers something into her ear. Catherine smiles when done.]
Catherine [smiles]: Thank you.
Jessica Trent: No problem.
Catherine [to Grissom]: I think that we're done here.
Grissom: Okay. Thanks for your help.
Janet Trent: Sure.
[Mrs. Trent and her two daughters go back into the house. Sgt. O'Riley, Grissom and Catherine move off of the porch to discuss the case.]
Sgt. O'Riley: I'll get a warrant for Mrs. Stein's shoes. See if we can place her at the crime scene.
[O'Riley walks away and out of screen presumably back to his car to get the warrant. Grissom and Catherine follow behind at a more leisurely pace.]
Grissom: Don't you have a secret to share with me now?
Catherine: Oh, uh, Mrs. Stein? She hates cats.
[Jessica and Jackie Trent are playing jump rope when the cat from Mrs. Elliot's house crosses the street toward them. The cat meows.]
Jessica Trent: Wait.
[They stop jumping rope and turn their attention to the cat.]
Jessica Trent: Rascal. Hi. How'd you get out?
[Jessica Trent picks the cat up.]
Catherine: Hi. Girls.
Jessica Trent: Say Hi, Rascal.
[The cat purrs in her arms.]
Catherine: Hi, Rascal.
[Grissom notices that the cat has an open wound.]
Grissom: Excuse me, uh ... may I hold your cat?
Jessica Trent: No. He doesn't like you.
[From the house, Mrs. Trent opens the door and calls out to her daughters.]
Janet Trent: Girls, dinner.
Jackie Trent: Doesn't she see we're playing?
Jessica Trent: Just ignore her.
Janet Trent: Girls. I see you've met rascal.
Grissom: Mrs. Trent, I noticed this cat has a sore on its leg. I'd be happy to swab it for you. Might need medical attention.
Jessica Trent: No.
Janet Trent: I don't think that that's really necessary. It's just a cut; it'll heal.
Grissom: But I mean, for your daughter's sake, wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?
Jessica Trent: I think it's time to go inside.
Janet Trent: Uh, Jessica ... I-I think he might have a point.
Jessica Trent: I want her to do it.
[Grissom hands Catherine the swab and Catherine gives him the goggles to hold. He tucks them in his shirt pocket.]
Catherine: Okay. Rascal.
[Catherine swabs the wound. The cat growls.]
Catherine: Alrighty. Thank you.
Janet Trent: Okay, girls, go wash up.
Jessica Trent: Come on, Jackie, let's go.
[The two girls head back to the house.]
Janet Trent: Kids these days, they just don't listen.
Catherine: Two against one.
Janet Trent: Thank you. See you later.
[Mrs. Trent heads back to the house.]
Grissom: One thing about my mother even though she was deaf, she was always the boss.
Greg: (After Grissom truns off his music) I could've been a rock star.
Grissom: There's still time, Greg.
Sara: How is that possible? The mechanic saw the bomb. Nick: X-ray vision?
221 | Anatomy of a Lye




222 | Cross-Jurisdictions
Sara: Hey Nick, have you ever been to a swingers party? Nick: Well, if it's the same thing as a frat party yeah, lots of them. You know, you get enough booze going things can get pretty wild. Sara: Frat party, huh? Well, I wouldn't know anything about that.



223 | The Hunger Artist






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