CSI Quotes - Season 3

CSI Quotes - Season 3 - CSISeason 3 Quotes
Share your favorite lines, conversations and funny quotes from CSI's third season!
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301 | Revenge is Best Served Cold

Catherine Willows: [loud music blaring from Thumpy G's car] Hey! You deaf?
Thumpy G: Thanks a lot. What's up? I'm Thumpy G.
Catherine Willows: A jackhammer is about 50 decibels quieter.
Thumpy G: Y'know, the only way to beat a jackhammer is to bust 15,000 watts of Run-DMC's "Dumb Girl," or, or LL Cool J's "Going Back To Cali?"
[from offscreen, a friend calls to him; Thumpy G answers]
Thumpy G: What up, dog?
Catherine Willows: Yo, Thumpy, you blow out a lot of eardrums?
Thumpy G: Try to.
Detective Cyrus Lockwood: You know this cat, Jace Felder?
[shows Thumpy G photo]
Thumpy G: Negative!
[is distracted by a girl walking by offscreen]
Thumpy G: Hey, what's up, baby?
[eyes follow the girl as she walks away]
Catherine Willows: Hey, Thumper! How about we impound your car, seize your stereo system, and charge you with disturbing the peace?
Thumpy G: Oh, but it's hot now, it's real hot. All right, you know, yo, it's coming back to me.
Nick Stokes: We're all ears.

302 | The Accused is Entitled

303 | Let the Seller Beware

Greg: (after storming into Grissoms office) You infected me with mildew?

304 | A Little Murder

Dwarf (Name unknown to me): Does he every talk?
Sara: (Smiles) sometimes!
Grissom: I was just admiring your reaching tool!
Dwarf: I have one i use to wipe my tush with! Would you like to take a look at it?
Grissom: Hey, if the world doesn't adapt itself to you, you adapt yourself to it! Right?
Nick Stokes Hey look its Midgets
Grissom Uh Nick its Little People Or Dwarfs

305 | Abra Cadaver

Zephyr: You're wondering right now. I can hear your mind ticking. Was she a plant, was it real?
Gil Grissom: Well, there are no secrets, are there? Just hidden answers?

306 | The Execution of Catherine Willows

Nick Stokes: People are pigs.
Gil Grissom: Don't insult the pigs, Nick. They're actually very clean

307 | Fight Night

308 | Snuff

Teri Miller: I see you're learning to cook for yourself.
Gil Grissom: Well I had to, Teri, I heard you were married.

309 | Blood Lust

310 | High and Low

311 | Recipe for Murder

312 | Got Murder?

313 | Random Acts of Violence

[Warrick enters the lab carrying the bag of trophies.]
Warrick [angry]: This guy's been in Matt's house.
Grissom: What is this?
[Warrick puts the bag on Grissom's lab table and opens it. He starts pulling out trophies and showing them to Grissom.]
Warrick: Matt's team won this three years ago. This trophy was given to the rec center last year. I found all this stuff in Jacobs' car.
[Grissom stands up.]
Grissom: Well, if this is evidence, it needs to be tagged and catalogued.
Warrick: This is the same guy who shot Matt's daughter in the head. He's walking around laughing at us.
Grissom: Can you prove that?
Warrick [yelling]: What is this? I've been putting guys away like this for years. And now that it matters, it's like you're holding me back here.
[He's getting louder. Greg and another office worker come out of their labs to see what's going on.]
Grissom: The job, Warrick, is to process evidence. Objectively, and without prejudice.
Warrick: I'm so tired of hearing that. I've heard it a million times. I can't be like you. I'm not a robot, okay?
[This surprises Grissom.]
Warrick: I actually care about these people.
[Jacqi Franco in her lab pushes her chair to see what's going on.]
[Grissom doesn't argue with Warrick.]
Grissom: You know what? You're not working on this case anymore. I'll have another assignment for you tomorrow.
Warrick: Keep it.
[Greg is leaning against the door talking with a lab tech. She's giggling at something he says.]
[Grissom and Warrick walk down the hallway toward him. Greg turns around.]
Grissom: Greg, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Greg [to the girl]: The world may never know.
[The girl giggles. She stops when she looks at Grissom. Greg turns back. Warrick hands the evidence baggie to Greg.]
Warrick: Just see if you can get some DNA off of this stick, would you?
[When Greg's back is turned, the girl walks away.]
Greg: All work and no play make Greg a dull boy...
[Greg turns around and she's not there.]
Grissom: All play and no work make Greg an unemployed boy.

314 | One Hit Wonder

Brass: hey kid, do you mind if i look at your fanny pack? Will i'm a wallet guy myself but i could change! it is a computer and check out the tip of his right shoe! (to Catherine)
Catherine: (opens computer to see herself) It is a spy camera! So what, you can't spy on apartments during the day so you come to the mall to sneek some thrills?

315 | Lady Heather's Box

[at Lady Heather's front door]
Gil Grissom: I'd like to come in.
Lady Heather: I'm sure you do. Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Captain Jim Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Gil Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Captain Jim Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sports car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.

316 | Lucky Strike

317 | Crash and Burn

[Catherine and Sara exit the room. Hank is waiting for Sara in the hallway.]
Catherine [to Sara]: I'll meet you at the car.
[Catherine walks out the hallway. Hank turns to talk with Sara.]
Hank Peddigrew: I called the lab. They said you were here. [swallows] I heard you met Elaine.
Sara: Yeah, she's really something. [pause] I didn't tell her about us, if that's what you're wondering.
Hank Peddigrew: I'm really sorry, Sara.
Sara [nods]: Yeah, me, too.
Hank Peddigrew: I don't know what else to say.
Sara: I'll see you around.
[Cut to: ext. Police Department]
[SARA walks out of the police department.]

[Lyrics: "Wild Horses", The Sundays Childhood living / is easy to do / the things that you wanted / I bought them for you ...]
[She walks to the car, opens the door and gets inside. Catherine watches Sara.]
[Lyrics: ... graceless lady ...]
Catherine [quietly]: You got plans?
Sara: Nope.
[Lyrics: ... You know who I am...]
Catherine: You want to get a
[Sara turns to look at Catherine. Catherine smiles. She's been there. Sara turns and looks straight ahead. She smiles a bit.]
Sara: Drive.
[Catherine starts the engine and they leave.]
[Lyrics: ... And wild horses couldn't drag me away...]

318 | Precious Metal

319 | A Night at the Movie

Catherine: BUTTERFINGERS! (upon dropping her flashlight)

320 | Last Laugh

321 | Forever

322 | Play with Fire

Grissom: You ok?
Sara: Uh-huh.
(Grissom notices a cut on Sara's hand)
Grissom: Honey this doesn't look good
Sara: Do you want to have dinner with me?
Grissom: No.
Sara: Why not? Let's have dinner, let's see what happens.
Grissom: Sara, I don't know what to do about this.
Sara: I do. You know by the time you figure it out, you really could be too late.

323 | Inside the Box

Catherine Willows: It's just such a lousy way to find out that you're my father.
Catherine Willows: How long have we known each other?
Gil Grissom: In weeks, months or years?
Gil Grissom: Nick, give me that apple.
Nick Stokes: [looks at the apple he's been eating] But I didn't get any lunch...
Gil Grissom: You're not supposed to be eating in here so give it.
[Grissom notices something in the desert and starts to walk away from a crime scene]
Captain Jim Brass: Where's he going?
Catherine Willows: Let's just hope he stops

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